My Bleeding Heart
by Purple Halo
Summary: Alternate universe. Julian's the transfer student. Jenny's the golden girl who does what she's told. Julian's prepared to do anything to win over Jenny's heart but what if it belongs to someone else? JXJ


Prologue

I stormed to the car, clenching and unclenching my fists with a deadly mix of anger and rejection, my blood racing. I yanked the car door open and climbed swiftly inside, blatantly ignoring the soft sobs calling my name from behind me and slammed the door. I sat, staring at my hands, they were shaking violently. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, _was I really going to leave her like this? _I asked myself.

Yes. She didn't want me, she wanted _him_. If she was really sad, _he_ could comfort her. I growled in anger and hit the steering wheel, hard. The horn sounded in complaint but I ignored it. _Why did the world have to be so cruel?_ I shoved the keys into the ignition and twisted it with unnecessary force and drove off. The good thing about owning a Porsche was that it allowed you to get away from it all fast.

I drove blindly, only half seeing the road in front of me. My mind was reliving the past, the tortuous events. Jenny's eyes, filled with unshed tears, haunted me. She was in pain and what was worse was that _I_ had caused it. I switched lanes suddenly with a hard yank of the steering wheel, turning off the motorway I'd previously been on for a quieter road, my wildly out of control emotions making me reckless.

I glanced at the speedometer; the needle was still steadily climbing, the cars next to me passed by in a blur. I looked in the rear-view mirror but I couldn't make anything out in the reflection; I was crying. A part of me, the dark part, snarled at me for being weak, for allowing myself to get so caught up in my emotions. To let myself feel was to let myself get hurt. That was what I'd been taught, that's what I'd believed. Until now.

Another wave of emotion cascaded through me and I stamped down on the accelerator. But no matter how fast you run, you can't out run your thoughts. My eyes flicked to the rear-view mirror again, I looked like even more of a mess than before. I needed to turn it off. I needed to drown it out. _But how? _I turned the CD player on and turned it up so loud that the windows vibrated. Songs came and went, but it didn't stop the images from coming in flashes. It didn't stop Jenny's eyes from haunting me or the darkness from seeping into my thoughts. I ran my free hand through my hair clawing at my scalp until I drew blood. But it still didn't work, not even pain could break through my thoughts.

_Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. _I squeezed my eyes shut and willed my brain to listen to my pleading. It didn't work. I stamped down even harder on the accelerator, the speed dial inching up even closer to 120 miles per hour. A guitar riff blared out the speakers, familiar enough to cut through my thoughts. I stared at the CD player, straining to remember where I'd heard it before and then I remembered. At the prom, dancing with Jenny.

Rejection stabbed at me and something else too. Regret. I needed to apologise, before I was cut out of her life completely. I needed to –

A horn blared in warning and I looked up at the road in surprise. I felt fear clench my stomach. The road ahead of me dropped away to one of the vast ravines that Californian mountain drives were famous for. At 190 miles per hour, there was no hope in hell that I could slow down fast enough to avoid careening off the edge and into space.

I hit the brakes anyway and the smell of burning rubber almost instantly filled the car. The metal barriers at the apex of the curve loomed closer. My stomach seemed to be full of shards of glass as it twisted. I swerved and the back of the car swung round, but didn't stop.

The silver barriers glinted in the sunlight, with some kind of pristine beauty. The ravine raced towards me, the distance between the drop and the car shortening rapidly. The tall trees swayed slightly in the warm autumn breeze, their leaves glowing emerald in the light. I wondered if it would hurt when I hurtled through them. There was only a thin strip of road separating me from the ravine. I glanced at the speed dial; the needle was quivering at the 100 mark. I glanced back at the road. I thought of Jenny's green eyes sparkling with happiness. For a second my heart softened, love breaking the ice hard grip fear had on my heart. Then I smashed through the silver barriers as if they were no more than paper and careened forward into space.

It was as if I were underwater, all the sounds seemed to be coming from far away, apart from the song. The guitar had sped up, eerily loud compared to the rest of the world around me. I swallowed, for once allowing fear to take hold.

Time froze and for a second I felt weightless as gravity caught up with me. My stomach twisted. I plunged down. Trees reached out and tried to grab the car but only succeeded in smashing through the windshield. I slammed forward and hit the steering wheel hard. The car flipped, head over tail, like some kind of perverse roller coaster, causing the world to become no more than a sea of green. The last thing I saw were Jenny's eyes, not like they were before, but like they were when I last saw them, shaded with sorrow; then the world was consumed with darkness.

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><p><strong>AN: Ok so this was the prologue! what do you guys think? love it? hate it? Flames aren't appreciated but if you want you can give me constructive criticism! Oh this was inspired by Can't Stop by Red Hot Chili Peppers!**

**NOW REVIEW! please?**


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